Birthday Gnome

Oh what a GNOMESOUS DAY, 2 songs from the little GNOMES, GRANDGNOME & MINIGNOME, waiting for the Gnomepost, YIPPEE hes here 12:45, Gnomepostman nearly fell off his bike with the weight of the parcel, then he asked Grandma IF SHE WAS ALAN !!!!!!! Of course she said yes, so he gave her the parcel & waved goodbye. Can´t wait to open it, desperate to see whats inside, here we go 1st one from Grandgnome, beautiful GNOME HANKY the one & only i have ever had with a delicious WHIRLY POP & a wonderful handmade card, QUICKLY ON TO THE SECOND 1 WHO COULD THIS BE FROM, AHHHH!!! Its from Minignome, a beautiful personalized card & a SUPERGNOME teeshirt, wait whats this a lump inside, NO ITS, YES Ú´HAVE GUESSED IT, ITS A GNOMEOUS BAG OF MALTESERS, gnumy, gnumy, gnumy of down the bottom of the garden with those then. Last but not least prezzie no 3, the card with Great Grandad Gnomes picture on the front, so on with the Magic, another prezzie to open from Gnome Filha & Filho, YAHOO! its the 2 KINGS TEE SHIRT, GNOME ON THE RANGE, OH NO ANOTHER LUMP, yippee Cowboys its ONLY ANOTHER BAG OF MALTIES, have to be careful they don´t melt around the old campfire. Well 12 cards later , 1 bag of MALTIES GONE, ( ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IÁV SEEN THEM) OOPS JUST SPIED THE LAST 1 IN THE CORNER OF THE BAG, SURE THAT TASTED BETTER THEN ALL THE REST!!!! having a Gnomeous birthday, thanks to all & sundry xxxxxxxxxx

Gabi`s New Salon

Change of name & address for GABRIELLES, now opened, @ GABI´S Rua Alexandre, Hereufano, 18 R/C, AREIAS S. JOAO, ALBUFEIRA.

NEWS FLASH

101, yes 101 flowering pansies passed the TON, only about 50% of the plants flowering at the moment, not bad @60 cents for the packet of seed. Pansies on sale at the Gypsy market @ €1 each, a lovely border of colour. ORANGE TREE IN FULL BLOSSOM, could be a busy time ahead. LOVELY view from the bottom of the garden.

UPDATE Sunday new total 126 flowering pansies

Bottom of the garden

Just thought I would let the rest of you share my bottom of the garden with me. As you can see the colours are beginning to bloom, brightening my days & the passing Gnomes. Hidden in the warmth of the soil there are more favorites to blossom. Already had a crop of 26 Clematines, now awaiting the fruits of the Orange tree.

Mercedes or Euro?

Mercedes day again, needed new top hose & Fuel return pipe, so thought may as well change the antifreeze/water at the same time. Mercedes, engineering for you there are 2 blanks on the bottom of the Radiator, 1 is the tri-star emblem of Mercedes the other a screw bung for removal to drain off the water, but will it work!!! will it unscrew!!!!!, HAVE FAITH, ye doubters, piece of cake, out flows the yellowish/reddy water straight into the bowl, now Engine plug out drain off the Engine. Handbook says 11 litres, that sure is a lot of water, off with the top hose on with the new, PURFECT!!!!! BOUGHT 15 LITRES, as it was on OFFER AT €5:99 FOR 5 LITRES INSTEAD OF €9:99, OH LUCKY ME. Now down to the nitty gritty ( Mercedes or Euro) one of my new friends has left the bottom of the Garden, perhaps it was too busy, sunny or whatever. He has moved into Mr Spiders old place, Wooden Hollow, in the car ramps under the terrace, next to the Mercedes. Such a little Gnome Gecko, i don´t know which name suits him best, perhaps someone out there can help select his name for him, take a peek at the photos to see the size of him, yes the coin acuttally is a 1€uro piece, awaiting your comments, off back into garden tiding & weeding got 2 White & 4 Purple Ice plants to put in as well, Gnomeuos Good Friday to everyone, may you all have a sunny Easter.

Win or lose

Saturday the big game Liverpool v Reading, Gnomes dilemna. Who to support my team Liverpool or my hometown team Reading???????????? LIVERPOOL to win to play in Europe, Reading to win to remain in the PREMIERSHIP??? Well I may need a drink or 2,3 or 4 whilst watching this game, out with the Gnome cycle off to the Strip to COCONUTS, ONLY 4 MILES TAKES 20 MINUTES, 30 feet away from the bar get chased by Pedro the dog, big crowd, due to BIG games Liverpool, Man Utd, Chelsea & West Ham all showing in the same bar plus all the other games, lucky seat BIG SCREENS, IN FRONT LIVERPOOL, TO THE LEFT CHELSEA, wayhay just the job. Reading off to great start 0-1 after 5 minutes, not to last tho, losing 2-1, played well but at the end of the day its the goals that count. Oh well watch the final scores, finish the Vodka, say goodbye to all the Gnomes & the guys from Destination Football, on to the the trusty cycle, i am goner treat myself going home via the long downhill ride via the Old Town, about 6 miles but i really am looking forward to speeding down that hill!!!!!!! Oops!! first thing i forgot, was riding against the wind & then the 2 hills to get up, above the long downhill, halfway up the 1st hill by the garage had to walk as could´t get lower gears, 2nd hill have the same problem just past the Bombeiros, cross the roundabout shoot past LIDELS getting excited now can see the top of the hill, wow over the crest, can see the large traffic roundabout at the bottom, hope i can stop or at least turn right without falling off!!! WHEEEEEE off at speed no point in pedaling now going so fast the pedals have no feeling or pressure just whizzing round as light as a feather, 3/4 of the way down its happening so quickly!! Oh my GNOME whats that ahead, 2 small rods sticking up 3 feet out of the path with a 3 inch red & white tape stretched across about 4 foot of path !!! THEY HAVE REMOVED THE BLOCKS JUST A BIG GAPING HOLE!!!!!! can i squeeze thro the gap on the edge, nows the time for the BRAKES to work & work good!!!! WHEW squeezed thro that, OOPS QUICK DUCK UNDER THE LOOMING ROAD SIGN before i have a free haircut. Feel really good now, off along the dual carriageway i could have sworn it was flat , of course it feels & looks that way in the car, the bad news is there are another 3 inclines, struggle over the 1st one, down pass the dog training session 8 Rottweillers & 1 poor little ole mongrel. Lucky me they are behind the fence. Its getting easy now broke into a phsyical sweat, if i keep this up i will be in the running for skinnest Gnome. Up & over the 2nd incline, pass the fresh Oranges, OH how i could do with a nice fresh squeezed Orange right now, HAND SIGNAL, HOLDING UP THE TRAFFIC, can hear them slowing, straight across the roundabout, over the brow past the cement works, down to the last roundabout, hooray, up the last incline HOMEWARD BOUND, into the gate, lean the cycle against the wall put the lock on stand up catch a reflection in the kitchen window, oh my gnome, its ME, MY HAIR IS ALL STOOD STRAIGHT UP ON END I LOOK JUST LIKE A TROLL, THE SWEAT IS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE WHICH IS ALSO BRIGHT RED. I think i feel better then i look THANK GOODNESS, straight into the shower, thats so much better. Think to myself i am goner pay for this tomorrow aching legs & muscles ******, well well well NOT A TWINGE, WHOS A LUCKY GNOME THEN. Go gnome, go green, cycling is where i´ve been. WAS IT WORTH IT? IT SURE WASSSSSS.

The BIG TEST

Yes today the GNOMEMOBILE went for the BIG IPO INSPECTION, dedicated test centre for matriculation, re-registering of vehicles in Portugal. Frightening almost as big for a car as having a heart transplant!!!!!! Very busy on arrival but lucky have a booking for 10am 5 bays loads of technicians, cars, vans, lorries keep coming, parking & queueing. Our turn, please lift the bonnet, double check all the numbers, engine, chassis, body. thats nice start all ticked correct. Another technician strolls over Mrs GNOME WILL HAVE TO ENLIGHTEN HERSELF FROM THE CAR, in he gets, off he goes into 1 of the bays, me following quickly asking can i stay & HOLD THE WHEEL OR STROKE THE BONNET. Test part 1, the exhaust strobe entered, revs up 3 times, a little smoke ( next bay much newer Mercedes belching out BLACK CLOUDS), THAT LOOKS REASSURING FOR US). Part 2, 10 yards forward, lights test. Part 3 roller brake test, that looks good, younger technician, comes over, in broken English, you must have rear mud flaps, its the law for any car older then 1993, a tip he says the bottom of the flap must be level with the lowest part of the body, obrigard amigo. Part 4 over the pit, off TECHNICIAN 1 goes down the stairway, the older 1 still in the car, running now on vibration pads testing the suspension & shock absorbers, lot of shouting from below, older 1 gets out, asks me to get in & keep the brakes ON, oops worry worry, now they have jacked up the car & it feels as if its being rocked from side to side by a gang of men. The older 1 reappears, can´t tell anything by the look on his face, explains he wants me to go out exit, drive around front & back into bay 5 for co2 test, yeh sure enough there he is flapping his arms & whistling to show me where he wants us. Back onto another roadroller, up with the bonnet electrical clamp onto the ABS system younger 1 into car,building up the revs, roller system speeding up, seems as if they are trying to take off ( BIG WALL IN FRONT !!!) lots of figures changing on screen, once again a 3 time test, poor old car, still not a single glimmer or expression as to if its passing/failing O.K. take it out park over there & wait, ( eh ,wait... its like an expectant father waiting). After about 10 minutes the young 1 comes over ( as i am PACING in the sunshine), it will be about 20 minutes as he has to put all the readings into the computer to work out if its all O.K. Oh well it can only be pass or fail!!! ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE. Go & see Wendy sat in the waiting room no visiting hours here!!! Eventually the older 1 comes thro the back into the office, standing by the printing m/c, maybe hes printing out the certificate, or maybe its a notification of FAILURE. Hello hes beckoning me with his finger, lots of paperwork, tells me i need to put this (pointing) at the matriculation disc in my window straight away, YIPPEE SHES PASSED!!!!! but wait he needs to tell me something else,.............., i will need to get new test in October, because new law says car must be tested on its BIRTHDAY!!!!! no problem, only ordinary test then like MOT. THE DISC IS IN THE WINDOW BEFORE YOU CAN SAY jacklflash, off down the road to home, the GNOMEMOBILE TRIUMPHS ONCE MORE.

Gnome gardener of the year

Yes you guessed it back down the bottom of the garden, yeh now you all know its true thats really where i live, come sun or more sun. GREAT NEWS 6 DONATED WHITE CALLA LILYS, one of Grandma´s favorite flowers, oh lucky me gnomerous dinner to nite, SKIRT IN RED WINE (bifa jardenair), onions (cebolla), garlic ( alho) & tomato ( tomate), if i´m very lucky, fresh bread (fresha pao) to soak the juices up gno,gno, gno. followed by fresh Baxia ananas ( the sweetess Pineapple) you could WISH for. All followed by PARTY NIGHT AT PAULO´S. JUST A COUPLE MORE PHOTOS OF THE CHARABANG & PEDRO THE FLOWER DONKEY. Yes as you can see the
BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN!!!!!!!

Bottom middle or top?

2 new additions, one each side of the arch way, Fuchias that is, MAYBE THE LAST OF THE PLANTING FOR A LITTLE WHILE, time for a few trips down to Gnome beach. Just a few photos taken by Mrs Gnome of the plants that were bought as RUBY WEDDING PRESSIES. The Orange tree & Peach tree from Mick & Dawn, the Twin Solanums (blue & purple) from Dee & Gazza, the Magnolia from Steve & Carole. Already had an Orange off the tree wonderful sweet & juicy.

Garden pressies

Gnome noite, good gnevening all, well, managed to finish the garden shopping today, spending all the lovely Gnome €´s given to us for our Ruby wedding anniversary. Off to the wilds, down the little back road behind the N25, to Rosemary & Thymes Gnome garden centre, found a wonderful juicy orange tree, loads of orange blossom & 3 gnomeourus oranges & a Peach tree plus a sack of manure (recommended by Rosemary) unfortunately she forgot to mention of the wonderful AROMA upon opening the sack enough to floor an army of Gnomes. 2 blackeyed daisie plants, Rosemary suggests leaving them to seed themselves or showed us how to snip off sections, debud them & plant to increase our stock. Also 2 fuscia coloured ice plants for ground cover around the bottom of the Palms. Back home to Gnome Casa unload, then a lite Gnome snack at the bottom of the garden. Into the Gnomemobile & off to Ciga garden centre for our last purchase the Magnolia `FRAGRANT CLOUD´, with its exceptionally large tulip shaped flowers with big glossy leaves up to 6ft high. Back home to plant & water, OH that fresh AROMA from the MAGIC SACK, Mrs Gnome had to close all the windows to the Casa, whilst planting the orange tree I accidently knocked off the largest orange, Mrs GNOME PEELED IT & FED ME SEGMENT BY SEGMENT so I could work non-stop, if only she had GNOMED. ASK ME, WAS IT SWEET WAS IT JUICY, WAS IT, IT WAS SO, GNOMENORMSMUCHLY SWEET & JUICY!!!!!! THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN HAS CERTAINLY CHANGED, SO MUCH THAT I MAY NEVER WANT TO LEAVE IT!!! I WISH MY PLEASURES COULD BE YOURS, EVEN MY BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN SNORES!!! L U M

English Hols

Flew off to England on Gnome Air, not mushroom in the broken seat, got whizzed back on take off & landing, luckily there was a Gnomeless person sitting behind me, England very very cold but whilst staying in Gnome villa had a great time although Gnome flu was very prevalant, runny noses, backache, headache all in the same pot not a good feeling. Dog gnome was a STAR, CUDDLING ALL THE GNOMES AT WILL , showing off how many new tricks she could & would do for a small reward. Visited many of the local GNOMES & FAMILY HAVING gnome meals at every opportunity. Been to the bottom of the garden & spied neighbourly actions in progress, no 7 & 5 have built green wire fences to keep in their poochs Khan & Buddy. Meanwhile the Gnome garden has also new additions of, 19 White IRIS´S, 11 Geraniums, Blackeye Calla Lily, 12 Freesias, 133 Pansies, 1 Blue & 1 Purple Solanum entwined together theses are about 5ft high. Fed & trimmed the Clemantina, harvest of 26 clemantines ( not bad for 1st year) removed the end of the tomato plants recycled the compost, things are looking pretty GNOMISH. 22º BLUE SKIES, SUNNY MORNING TILL NITE, its hard to sit still at the bottom of the garden. As you can see i have a new friend at the bottom of the garden Mr Green Hopper Keep watching for news on new Gnomes moving into no´s 6 & 9 & the progress at Gabi´s hair salon. Gnome noite to everyone L U M

catch up with the GNOME

Well the GNOME IS BACK, been busy moving the Gnome Hairdresser to new gnome premises much larger 6 x the size of original, mirrors to remove pictures to take down, holes to fill & paint. lots of chat & lots of people input all delaying & adding to the confusion!! furniture to dissemble move & reassemble, old wall frames to be removed before the mirrors hung again filling & painting, all this & only 1st floor whats going to happen downstairs GOD ONLY KNOWS!!! maybe in for a shock upon entering tomorrow monday? everything may have changed